Personal Mentoring Services begins with the person. If I am the designated mentor, it starts with me. If you are the identified protégé, it starts with you. Each person, from their respective frame of reference, is their own unit of relevance, for the collaborative igniting of the “personal” mentoring process.
Mentoring is a verb. At first glance, it denotes action. Nothing happens if nothing is done. Something happens if something is done. What is necessary that must be done? Whatever is necessary that must be done! Consequently, to mentor and to be mentored (as a protégé) is to do something actionable.
However, mentoring also implicates its opposite because some actions require knowing when not to do anything at all but just to be. Consider the rhetorical Shakespearean question: “to be or not to be?” Thus, true mastery obliges the master and disciple, both, to know when to do and, concomitantly, when to be.
The Services part of Personal Mentoring Services are actually much more complicated. An age-old riddle asks “for whom does the Grail serve?” The solution, I suspect, is in the following order: first me, then thee and finally we. There is an intrinsic recipient quality to all giving, which presages human altruism.
The moral is to make services “self-serving” in service of “other-serving” in service of “all-serving.” The search may start with meaning, purpose and value in one’s own self-interest to meaning purpose and value in the best interests of others to meaning purpose and value in each and every moment of all.
According to Einstein, “motion, direction and size are relative.” However, “light” is no longer regarded as an “absolute constant of nature.” What if that “constant” is simply embodied, minded and inspirited as a dynamic, lived-tension between the twin laws of permanence and transformation within you?
If this is so, then what really and truly matters is how you are who you are in the moment of the now (which is, essentially, the nodal point connecting historicity with teleology in the present existential phenomenological world here-and-now). Each moment is a holographic representation of eternity and you are a holographic representation of the Divine (in the infinite iterations of “The Good,” “The Bad,” and “The Ugly”)!
This leads to a logical and important tripartite inquiry, viz., who are you, what is important for you to live for and what are you doing (and being) about it? These three questions which, if not sincerely asked and if not honestly answered, result in an unexamined, unlived life, probably, not much worth living.
The challenge is to do right and to be right, with yourself and toward others, but with the whole-hearted commitment of right sentiment to undergird, at the deepest-structure, the very foundation of who you are when everything is going well, when nothing is going well and, especially, when no one is looking.
Personal Mentoring Services is not about a particular outcome or predetermined destination. Rather, it is your own personally mentored journey with a “master” journeyman, who like a good mid-wife, assists all those in their charge, who are fully pregnant with conflict, to permit and encourage them to labor with the pain of their experience, and challenge them to experience the labor of their pain, in order to give birth to themselves! Absent these good and true services, all hope is surely lost.
Author Note: Dr. Larry B. Gelman is a Clinical Psychologist and a Personal Mentor
© 2014 Northern Illinois Counseling Associates, P.C. (NICA), Personal Mentoring Services (PMS)
Dr. Larry B. Gelman, Dr. Glenn B. Gelman, All Rights Reserved.