From Dr. Larry

Dr. Larry Gelman is fiercely devoted to each client, with a deep and profound respect for their own self-agency and self-determination.

Chosen

No one wants to be the one who is not “chosen.”
There is almost always a sense that the “final selection” is, ultimately, unfair to one or more of the principals...
As well as, inevitable questions being raised about one or more unfair criteria utilized in the selection-process.

We may ask, rhetorically, what about the “chosen” one is any better than anyone else?
Why was so-and-so “chosen” and I was “not chosen?”
And, vice-a-versa, if applicable.

Deep-down, we, intuitively, know that “everyone should be treated equally.”
Or, at least, we presume they ought to be, apart from the “accidental” circumstances of birth...
As a fundamental, self-evident and inalienable human right.
And if, as a religious right, then “let he (or she) who would be first, be last and serve the rest.”

Why should any one person, ethnic group, nationality or race really and truly be any more “special” than any other?
Some individuals clearly seem to be “born lucky” with a perpetual “silver spoon” in their mouth.
As the “anointed”, they have little to prove and expect that the hard work of life is for those who are not “chosen.”

Others are “not lucky” and learn that “their place” is to “suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous misfortune.”
As the “appointed,” they have lots to prove and expect that the hard work of life is for those who are “not chosen.”

Ironically, each are “chosen” to be the “have’s” and the “have-nots” by their acceptance of their choice to choose...
Either to be the “chosen” or to be the “not chosen!”

Who in the world has the “power of say” for you or I to choose for each of us which one is “chosen” or “not chosen?”
And why would anyone in their right mind accept being “chosen”...
If it meant engendering enmity in those “not chosen?”

Better that we are all “chosen” or that we are all “not chosen” ...
For are we not the sentient ones with the freedom of choice...
To freely choose...
Which choices
We choose so freely...
But always with the knowledge...
That there are implications to everything with impact and consequence...
For ourselves and for others...
All of the time!

If I choose me and I also choose you...
And if you choose you and you also choose me...
Then we are both “chosen.”

But if I do not chose me and I also do not choose you...
And if you do not choose you and you also do not choose me...
Then we are both “not chosen.”

Up to this juncture, we are both, essentially, still “the same.”

However, if I choose me and I do not choose you...
Or if you choose you and you do not choose me...
Then one of us is “chosen” and one of us is “not chosen.”
And now, we have both, insidiously, become...
By way of our choosing to allow...
An evaluative comparison and contrast, to take root...
As “not the same.”

So long as there is “no harm”...
Then there is “no foul.”
Yet, if there is the slightest perception, interpretation or experience of harm...
Then, there is a the flagrant perception, interpretation or experience of foul!

Made all-the-worse if the “chosen” is chosen by the “power of say” above my “pay grade” and yours...
Because, then one of us is deemed “more special” and potentially “more favored” and hence “elevated”...
Meaning that the other one of us is deemed “less special” and potentially “less favored” and hence “reduced”...
Therefore, one is up and the other is down; up because the other is down; down because the other is up.

Up-down; down-up. one on top; one on bottom; one positionally superior; one positionally inferior...and, voila!
Imbalances abound in every direction all because one is “chosen” and the other one is “not chosen.”

Or, in other words, one’s “in” and the other’s “out;”
The other who’s “out” is “out” because the one who’s “in” is “in;”
Because the one who’s “in” takes the place of the other who’s “out” from their being “in”because they’re “out”.
And when you’re “out”, well, then you’re “out”, meaning outside, excluded, extruded and abandoned...
And when you’re “in,” well, then you’re “in,” meaning inside, included, valued and loved.

Does it make a meaningful difference who is “in” and who is “out;” who is “chosen” and who is “not chosen?”
And who chooses?
Unless you’re “chosen”...
Or “not chosen.”

Unless you choose to “surrender your voice” and to allow another voice to surrender your choice...
Or unless you choose to “surrender your choice” and to allow another choice to surrender your voice.

Which of the alternative choices will you risk choosing as your “chosen” choice?"
To be the one “chosen” (i.e., the “chosen” one) or to be the one “not chosen” (i.e., the “not chosen” one)...
With your very own “power of say,” to choose whether you are “chosen” or choose not to be “not chosen”...
From “outside-in’ or ’inside-in?”

I have already “chosen” to choose everyone...
And “chosen” to have “not chosen” to not choose anyone.
It is the fact of our differences that make us “the same”...
Because that is an extremely compelling “common denominator”...
Our differences are what we all have “in common!”

And now, with the “power of your say”, what say you?

Who will be “anointed” and who will be “appointed”...
“More special” or “less special”...
“More favored” or “less favored”...
“Elevated” or “reduced”...
“In” or “out”...
“Included” or “excluded”...
“Valued” or “extruded”...
“Loved” or abandoned”...
“Chosen” or “not chosen?”

And who has “the right” to freely choose with the “power of say?”

Me?
         Thee?
                We?
                       Or perhaps...
                                            A deity?

No one?
             Every one?
                               Me and you?
                                                   And you and me?

Free to choose?
Free to be?

Chosen.

Author Note: Dr. Larry B. Gelman is a Clinical Psychologist and a Personal Mentor


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Dr. Larry B. Gelman, Dr. Glenn B. Gelman, All Rights Reserved.


Silver Linings
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