19:1 RULE

For your immediate consideration, may I suggest a little tool? Before you criticize yourself or another, please apply my 19:1 rule. If you look hard-enough for fault, you will surely find it in each and every 1. And “as you sow, so too shall you reap,” when all has been said and done. But if 19 times prior, appropriate acknowledgement is both posit...
Continue reading

Responsibility

What is the root word in responsible? Might it be “response?” We know from various noted references that the construct of responsibility conveys a sense of moral obligation or accountability, usually, to another (or to oneself). However, what specific response is needed, wanted or required in order for a responsible reckoning to result? It seems pr...
Continue reading

“Kup Choy’s Caveat”

During college one of my part-time jobs was unloading bags of mail from the airplanes at the O’Hare Airport postal service. At the time I was very young, very strong and very dumb but I really didn’t know how dumb I was. Whenever a caravan of mail pulled up to the unloading docks, I was the first one to arrive and the last one to finish. The task r...
Continue reading

“2nd Hardest Thing”

“The 2nd hardest thing that any one of us will ever have to do in our lives is to get up out of bed each morning!” When you get up out of bed, you have made an affirmative choice to pursue a pathway to engage in self-agency as your own prime agent. The first pathway is to be passive and dependent with you watching and waiting to see what will happe...
Continue reading

How to Be a Good “Crazy” Person!

Many years ago I stumbled upon the ‘secret formula’ of how to be a good “crazy” person: Simply live your life in such a way that you “know you know and know you mustn’t...” Then whatever follows can only remain a compensatory adaptation to living your life a lie! The ‘antidote’ is equally straightforward: When you “know you know, and know, and act ...
Continue reading

Once A Murderer

“Once a murderer, always a murderer.” I have pondered these words for years. Is it really true? If someone commits a sin, must they, forever, remain a sinner? We recall King David as “the giant slayer” who became a wise and good ruler. Yet he coveted his best friend’s wife and killed him to take her as his own. Was he a great man or a liar, thief a...
Continue reading

The Thinker

In quiet moments when I am in deep contemplative thought, pretending I have introduced myself to a new imaginary playmate, I increasingly find myself conjuring a brief conversation with Rodin’s sculpture, The Thinker. While I certainly appreciate that the artist may have been motivated by forces, either demonic or divine, and intended an entirely d...
Continue reading

Now

The moment of ”now” is the nodal point connecting historicity with teleology, or more simply, past with future in the present. The past is over-and-done-with unless it is represented in the moment of the now in some way. The future is a fictional expectation unless it is represented in the moment of the now in some way. Now is both a noun and also ...
Continue reading

Reaction vs. Response

Do you know the difference between a reaction and a response? Consider a marionette which is a puppet manipulated by the puppet master or marionetteer. When the strings are pulled, the marionette reacts in a passive and dependent manner. It has no choice but to do the bidding of its puppet master because it is only just a puppet. Whenever any strin...
Continue reading

“3+/-E’s”

In my opinion, there are three positive (+) or good “E’s” and three negative (-) or bad “E’s”. The first good “E” is to be “Effective.” To do what you set out to do. To finish what you started. To do it correctly, preferably the first time. To achieve the desired result. If you are not effective, then you are ineffective. To not do what you set out...
Continue reading

"Assertiveness Formula"

Have we got a terrific deal for all you boys and girls today! Only one to a customer but, shhh, you have our unrestricted permission to faithfully use our special “assertiveness formula” as often as you want! You will absolutely, positively improve your communication and conflict resolution competencies with each use, guaranteed, or your money back...
Continue reading

"RAWDEAL"

As a psychologist, if I have heard it once from my clients, I have probably heard it at least a thousand times, about the “raw deal” that many believed was unfairly visited upon them by an external agent for which they were injured or harmed with little recourse but to obsequiously accede and then to “bend over and take it!” After much thought, it ...
Continue reading

The Three Legged Stool of Character

“Character” is a “three-legged stool.” It is who you are when everything is going your way. It is who you are when nothing is going your way. It is who you are when no one is looking. The three legs do not have to be even. But the “stool” must be able to stand on its own. One leg may be longer or shorter or larger or smaller. But the “stool” must b...
Continue reading

The Fulcrum of Truth

Inverted Fulcrum
  Imagine a teeter-totter on a playground. The balance-point or center is called the fulcrum. Now think of the word: T-R-U-T-H equally positioned on the teeter-totter. Where is the fulcrum? It’s U! Now think of the word: T-R-U-S-T equally positioned on the teeter-totter. Where is the fulcrum? Again, it’s U! Take a breath. Hold it. Exhale. Thin...
Continue reading

Three Questions to "Know Thyself"

In my opinion, there are three questions to ask and to answer, as honestly as possible, in order to “know thyself.” #1. Who are you? #2. What is important to live for? #3. What are you doing about it? The apparent simplicity of these three questions belie the true complexity of the life-long self-discovery process to reveal the three answers which ...
Continue reading

Two-To-The-Third

Every good carpenter knows the ’old saw’ to “measure twice, cut once.” The idea is to check and re-check the correct measurement because once you cut you cannot re-cut. If you cut according to specifications, you are usually “good-to-go.” If you do not cut according to specifications you are usually “in trouble!” Some measures in life are complicat...
Continue reading

Good Servers

A “good server” provides a “good service” by filling a need and, thereby, rendering a valuable service “good and true.” “Good servers” provide “good service” and serve their end-user, client or customer very well, indeed! “Bad servers” leave a bad taste in the mouths of all those they fail to properly serve and none are well-served. Without “good s...
Continue reading

Bullying

I grew up in a fairly rough Chicago neighborhood. Gangs were everywhere and the girl-gang was, especially, scary! But the bottom-line was there was a “code” and a “pecking-order.” Invariably, the “big peckers” were surrounded by “little peckers.” Pecking someone down was designed to establish relative hierarchical position, status and turf. In the ...
Continue reading

Inciting Insight and Activating Action

The purpose of my writing is to “incite insight” and to “activate action.” I have no objection to ideas and efforts which differ from my own. In fact, I welcome them. My humble goal is to think and judge and act for myself. Along the way, I may have an opportunity to invite others to think and judge and act for themselves but only if they are recep...
Continue reading
enafsqarhyazeubebgcazh-CNzh-TWhrcsdanlettlfifrglkadeelhtiwhihuisidgaitjakolvltmkmsmtnofaplptrorusrskslesswsvthtrukurvicyyi
Go to top