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“2nd Hardest Thing”

“The 2nd hardest thing that any one of us will ever have to do in our lives is to get up out of bed each morning!” When you get up out of bed, you have made an affirmative choice to pursue a pathway to engage in self-agency as your own prime agent. The first pathway is to be passive and dependent with you watching and waiting to see what will happen. The second pathway is to be active and independent with you doing something to make something happen. The third pathway is to be a frozen sculpture in space and time and......
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How to Be a Good “Crazy” Person!

Many years ago I stumbled upon the ‘secret formula’ of how to be a good “crazy” person:Simply live your life in such a way that you “know you know and know you mustn’t...”Then whatever follows can only remain a compensatory adaptation to living your life a lie! The ‘antidote’ is equally straightforward:When you “know you know, and know, and act accordingly and consistently with that which you know...”Then whatever follows can only result in living your life a truth! I suspect that most of us “know” what we “know” even when we don’t “know” how we “know.”In addition, we often “know” when we “know” even though we don’t “know” ......
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Once A Murderer

“Once a murderer, always a murderer.” I have pondered these words for years. Is it really true? If someone commits a sin, must they, forever, remain a sinner? We recall King David as “the giant slayer” who became a wise and good ruler. Yet he coveted his best friend’s wife and killed him to take her as his own. Was he a great man or a liar, thief and cheat; worse, yet, a murderer? A young doctor, over-estimating his surgical skill, operates prematurely on his patient and she dies. The physician learns from his mistake and is scrupulous, thereafter, with all diagnosis......
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The Thinker

In quiet moments when I am in deep contemplative thought, pretending I have introduced myself to a new imaginary playmate, I increasingly find myself conjuring a brief conversation with Rodin’s sculpture, The Thinker. While I certainly appreciate that the artist may have been motivated by forces, either demonic or divine, and intended an entirely different “take” in his own mind, as an appreciative observer, my own “take,” I submit, is mine. As I view The Thinker what I perceive is an extremely powerful figure who, appears “larger-than-life” and seems capable of achieving any goal he sets his mind to, yet remains deep in conte......
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Now

The moment of ”now” is the nodal point connecting historicity with teleology, or more simply, past with future in the present. The past is over-and-done-with unless it is represented in the moment of the now in some way. The future is a fictional expectation unless it is represented in the moment of the now in some way. Now is both a noun and also a verb because in human terms it is alive for us...now. If a tree falls in a forest, and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? Excepting for the tree, if no one......
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Reaction vs. Response

Do you know the difference between a reaction and a response? Consider a marionette which is a puppet manipulated by the puppet master or marionetteer. When the strings are pulled, the marionette reacts in a passive and dependent manner. It has no choice but to do the bidding of its puppet master because it is only just a puppet. Whenever any string is pulled, a predictable reaction follows. This is stimulus-response psychology at an extremely primitive level. For each and every stimulus, a corresponding response follows. However, in strict linguistic terms, the response is actually a stimulus-bound reaction. The reaction is......
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“3+/-E’s”

In my opinion, there are three positive (+) or good “E’s” and three negative (-) or bad “E’s”. The first good “E” is to be “Effective.” To do what you set out to do.To finish what you started.To do it correctly, preferably the first time.To achieve the desired result. If you are not effective, then you are ineffective. To not do what you set out to do.To not finish what you started.To not do it correctly the first time.To not achieve the desired result. Effective is good; ineffective is less good but not, necessarily, bad. Because you can do more of what you set out to......
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"Assertiveness Formula"

Have we got a terrific deal for all you boys and girls today! Only one to a customer but, shhh, you have our unrestricted permission to faithfully use our special “assertiveness formula” as often as you want! You will absolutely, positively improve your communication and conflict resolution competencies with each use, guaranteed, or your money back! However, you must act right now! If you wait to long, I am sorry to inform you that you will surely lose. This is a “once-in-a-lifetime” opportunity and the stakes are high. So without any further ado or hullabaloo... Hurry, hurry, hurry folks! If you prefer ......
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"RAWDEAL"

As a psychologist, if I have heard it once from my clients, I have probably heard it at least a thousand times, about the “raw deal” that many believed was unfairly visited upon them by an external agent for which they were injured or harmed with little recourse but to obsequiously accede and then to “bend over and take it!” After much thought, it eventually occurred to me that the “raw deal” lingo was really a conscious manifestation of an unconscious constellation of powerful ’affects,’ whereby, if the “raw deal” verbalization was viewed as an, heuristic, acronym, then by taking the first letter of eac......
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The Three Legged Stool of Character

“Character” is a “three-legged stool.” It is who you are when everything is going your way.It is who you are when nothing is going your way.It is who you are when no one is looking. The three legs do not have to be even. But the “stool” must be able to stand on its own.One leg may be longer or shorter or larger or smaller.But the “stool” must be able to stand on its own. The interesting thing about “character” is that everything matters and that everthing is connected to everything all the time. The person you want to become actually depends upon who yo......
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The Fulcrum of Truth

  Imagine a teeter-totter on a playground. The balance-point or center is called the fulcrum. Now think of the word: T-R-U-T-H equally positioned on the teeter-totter. Where is the fulcrum? It’s U! Now think of the word: T-R-U-S-T equally positioned on the teeter-totter.Where is the fulcrum? Again, it’s U! Take a breath.Hold it.Exhale. Think long and hard and deep.Consider what this means. If U are the fulcrum of your truth...And if U are the fulcrum of your trust...Then U are the fulcrum of you! The balance-point or center of the truth of your trust and the trust in your truth must......
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Three Questions to "Know Thyself"

In my opinion, there are three questions to ask and to answer, as honestly as possible, in order to “know thyself.” #1. Who are you?#2. What is important to live for?#3. What are you doing about it? The apparent simplicity of these three questions belie the true complexity of the life-long self-discovery process to reveal the three answers which are correct, at core, for you. “Who are you?” is a deceptively inviting three-word interrogatory for “who are you and how did you come to be the unique person you are today.” The question obliges the respondent to think very carefully on these matte......
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Two-To-The-Third

Every good carpenter knows the ’old saw’ to “measure twice, cut once.” The idea is to check and re-check the correct measurement because once you cut you cannot re-cut. If you cut according to specifications, you are usually “good-to-go.” If you do not cut according to specifications you are usually “in trouble!” Some measures in life are complicated and it is not always clear exactly where to “cut.” So my suggestion during those moments is to consider “two-to-the-third” (or “2-cubed”). Said differently: “think twice and twice again and twice more.” Each time you “think” utilizing this method you will have considered where to “cut” eight times... Becau......
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Good Servers

A “good server” provides a “good service” by filling a need and, thereby, rendering a valuable service “good and true.” “Good servers” provide “good service” and serve their end-user, client or customer very well, indeed! “Bad servers” leave a bad taste in the mouths of all those they fail to properly serve and none are well-served. Without “good servers” “good service” is not provided and goods or services will not be good. With “good servers,” “good service” is provided and goods and services will be good by all those who are served. “Good servers” are necessary to every service-delivery system, without which, the delivery system fails to deliver......
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Bullying

I grew up in a fairly rough Chicago neighborhood. Gangs were everywhere and the girl-gang was, especially, scary! But the bottom-line was there was a “code” and a “pecking-order.” Invariably, the “big peckers” were surrounded by “little peckers.” Pecking someone down was designed to establish relative hierarchical position, status and turf. In the neighborhood I lived in, jockeying for your place meant the difference between life and death. Well, more symbolically, you either decided to “stand your ground” or you chose to “give up without a fight.” In prisons, the inmate who is beaten and raped but defends himself every time is someone to be respec......
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Inciting Insight and Activating Action

The purpose of my writing is to “incite insight” and to “activate action.” I have no objection to ideas and efforts which differ from my own. In fact, I welcome them. My humble goal is to think and judge and act for myself. Along the way, I may have an opportunity to invite others to think and judge and act for themselves but only if they are receptive to my voice. Truly, I am unaware of any particular need for me to be right or to foist my particular way upon anyone else. I am but only one small voice in a unive......
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