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The Dandelion and the Rose

As a young child, I was extremely curious about why so many of the adults around me considered dandelions to be a weed, especially, when dandelions seemed pretty-enough, in my opinion, to simply be a flower of a different kind. Another intriguing observation for me was that many of my neighbors appeared to become frantically obsessed with pulling weeds whenever new weeds reared their youthful stems and shoots, either on their grassy lawns or gardens. To digress, momentarily, an esteemed colleague recently provided me with a fascinating education about the old practice of “walkin’ beans,” which she claimed to have done frequ......
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Foot-In-The-Garbage-Can

Have you ever found yourself deep into something besmirching which was really messy, icky or dirty in your life? If so, consider my counseling and mentoring visual metaphor of a foot-in-the-garbage can. In fact, I challenge you to actually do it right now! Find a garbage can to accommodate your foot and stick it as far down and as deep into the container as possible. Inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth several times in rhythmic fashion to calm yourself. Contemplate your predicament. Ascertain very deeply how you got into the situation in the first place. Give some considered......
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Late, Later, Latest… Too Late

Wait, wait, wait.Wait until it’s late. Soon it will be late.Now it is late.Late, late, late... LATE! Soon it will be later.Now it is later.Later, later, later… LATER! Soon it will be latest.Now it is latest.Latest, latest, latest… LATEST! Soon it will be too late.Now it is too late.Too late, too late, too late… TOO LATE! No need to wait.It’s too late. Author Note: Dr. Glenn B. Gelman is a Clinical Psychologist and a Personal Mentor PMS Blog Comments Policy | PMS Copyright | PMS Disclaimer | PMS Citation Information www.personalmentoringservices.com © 2016 Northern Illinois Counseling Associates, P.C. (NICA), Personal Mentoring Services (......
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The Thinker

In quiet moments when I am in deep contemplative thought, pretending I have introduced myself to a new imaginary playmate, I increasingly find myself conjuring a brief conversation with Rodin’s sculpture, The Thinker. While I certainly appreciate that the artist may have been motivated by forces, either demonic or divine, and intended an entirely different “take” in his own mind, as an appreciative observer, my own “take,” I submit, is mine. As I view The Thinker what I perceive is an extremely powerful figure who, appears “larger-than-life” and seems capable of achieving any goal he sets his mind to, yet remains deep in conte......
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Reaction vs. Response

Do you know the difference between a reaction and a response? Consider a marionette which is a puppet manipulated by the puppet master or marionetteer. When the strings are pulled, the marionette reacts in a passive and dependent manner. It has no choice but to do the bidding of its puppet master because it is only just a puppet. Whenever any string is pulled, a predictable reaction follows. This is stimulus-response psychology at an extremely primitive level. For each and every stimulus, a corresponding response follows. However, in strict linguistic terms, the response is actually a stimulus-bound reaction. The reaction is......
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Simple!

It is a simple error of logic to think that with the passage of time and the scientific assertion of evolution as a positive consequence of “natural selection,” that modern day human beings are so complexly different from our prehistoric ancestors. Comparison of our respective limbic systems would likely reveal not all that much substantive difference between us. Does anyone honestly believe that if modern man, or cave man, was confronted with a hungry saber tooth tiger, a “40 day and 40 night” long flood or an unremitting toothache that either would react emotionally all that differently? Our emotional fight-flight system i......
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Catching a Chimp

I once heard a story; About a very clever method; For catching a chimp. To be sure, I confess; I am truly uncertain; As to the true veracity of the tale; Yet, whether true or false; The implications are; Quite utterly profound! Start with an elongated; Heavy metal or ceramic urn; New or used will do; Do not monkey around! Put a tasty banana; Or olfactorily-pleasing cookie; At the very bottom; Of the weighty container; Now simply relax and wait; For soon you will see; A curious chimp; Actually a chimpanzee; Will sniff a tempting treat; With greed and desire; Arm......
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"RAWDEAL"

As a psychologist, if I have heard it once from my clients, I have probably heard it at least a thousand times, about the “raw deal” that many believed was unfairly visited upon them by an external agent for which they were injured or harmed with little recourse but to obsequiously accede and then to “bend over and take it!” After much thought, it eventually occurred to me that the “raw deal” lingo was really a conscious manifestation of an unconscious constellation of powerful ’affects,’ whereby, if the “raw deal” verbalization was viewed as an, heuristic, acronym, then by taking the first letter of eac......
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Two-To-The-Third

Every good carpenter knows the ’old saw’ to “measure twice, cut once.” The idea is to check and re-check the correct measurement because once you cut you cannot re-cut. If you cut according to specifications, you are usually “good-to-go.” If you do not cut according to specifications you are usually “in trouble!” Some measures in life are complicated and it is not always clear exactly where to “cut.” So my suggestion during those moments is to consider “two-to-the-third” (or “2-cubed”). Said differently: “think twice and twice again and twice more.” Each time you “think” utilizing this method you will have considered where to “cut” eight times... Becau......
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What Are You Worth?

Many people I have encountered over the years erroneously believe they are “worth” what they want to be “worth,” what they hope to be “worth,” or even what they idealize themselves to be “worth.” Those who are extremely concrete and literal, incorrectly, assess what they are “worth” by the “bottom line” of their financial portfolio or the kinds of “perks” they have at work or the “pedigree” of their material possessions. In my opinion, however, “you’re worth what you settle for!” How many times have you heard someone proclaim that they would “never tolerate an abusive spouse” and yet, even if they divorce, may find themselves re-enga......
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