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“I Am Not A Man...”

For much of my professional career as a practicing clinical psychologist, I have articulated a sincere and explicit sentiment with virtually every adult female client and, usually by the end of the first session, that within the context of our professional relationship, “I am not a man but a doctor!” My reason has been to continually remind myself of what I will never know, as a man, about being female in the world! I am often fond of saying that “men live in the world of men but women live in the world of women and they must also live in...
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“, for now.”

No matter what major, moderate or minor crisis, challenge or conundrum you face in any area of your life, please consider adding the words “, for now” to the end of any thought or communication about your problem or concern. The phrase, “, for now” is a constant reminder that when “stuff happens,” it is usually reasonable to expect that any “hope, wish, and prayer” for both people and circumstances to change are likely over time, space, and perspective. “Nothing lasts forever” even though it may seem, otherwise, so whatever may appear to be the case in a particular moment of...
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32 Edits

I recently wrote a very short article which required 32 edits. My written work, I thought, was substandard and the message, I thought, was unclear. When I write, consistent excellence is my minimum standard and my point must be sharp and penetrating... Unless, “journalistic license” wins-out and I choose to implicate my meaning by intentional design. All works of art, I suspect, are perceived, interpreted and experienced in the subjective eye of each beholder. My writings, much like a famous inkblot test, provide the reader a standing invitation to see whatever they wish to see. It is not my intent to...
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Once A Murderer

“Once a murderer, always a murderer.” I have pondered these words for years. Is it really true? If someone commits a sin, must they, forever, remain a sinner? We recall King David as “the giant slayer” who became a wise and good ruler. Yet he coveted his best friend’s wife and killed him to take her as his own. Was he a great man or a liar, thief and cheat; worse, yet, a murderer? A young doctor, over-estimating his surgical skill, operates prematurely on his patient and she dies. The physician learns from his mistake and is scrupulous, thereafter, with all...
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The Cause of Death

There is an old joke that “the cause of death for everyone is life!” It has also been said that “the moment you are born, you begin to die.” Admittedly, some people are living to die while other people are dying to live. Is life the cause of death or is death the cause of life? The physicists remind us that “nothing is created and nothing is destroyed.” Matter and energy are supposedly completely interchangeable. At least, they become the other when each cease to exist as they were before. The seasons provide one powerful model for the circle of life...
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Pain

On November 8, 2010 I had an L2-S1 spinal fusion with multiple discectomies and multiple laminectomies to address degenerative disc disease, spinal stenosis and spinal scoliosis. Orthopedic experts were uncertain as to causality, however, I suspect that my sitting for 10-to 14 hours a day as a clinical psychologist for almost four decades coupled with rigorous martial arts training for almost twenty years may have played a contributory role in my affliction along with inherited and constitutional factors. The surgery reportedly required more than 10 hours to successfully complete and surgical staff were quick to apprise me that “there were...
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Begins With the Person

Personal Mentoring Services begins with the person. If I am the designated mentor, it starts with me. If you are the identified protégé, it starts with you. Each person, from their respective frame of reference, is their own unit of relevance, for the collaborative igniting of the “personal” mentoring process. Mentoring is a verb. At first glance, it denotes action. Nothing happens if nothing is done. Something happens if something is done. What is necessary that must be done? Whatever is necessary that must be done! Consequently, to mentor and to be mentored (as a protégé) is to do something actionable....
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