From Dr. Larry

Dr. Larry Gelman is fiercely devoted to each client, with a deep and profound respect for their own self-agency and self-determination.

The Three Legged Stool of Character

“Character” is a “three-legged stool.”

It is who you are when everything is going your way.
It is who you are when nothing is going your way.
It is who you are when no one is looking.

The three legs do not have to be even.

But the “stool” must be able to stand on its own.
One leg may be longer or shorter or larger or smaller.
But the “stool” must be able to stand on its own.

The interesting thing about “character” is that everything matters and that everthing is connected to everything all the time.

The person you want to become actually depends upon who you are now.
And in the next moment and so on, until you die.
It all counts. It's all connected. It all matters.
And mistakes, while essential, must never serve as justification for prolonged characterologic stasis.

“Character” is destiny's journey which combines interstitial lattices of danger and opportunity into an internecine network of eventual emerging and evolving identification and subsequent identity.

Each and everything we do or fail to do counts.
All struggle is important.
So, too, is failure along with episodic success.

The goal over a lifetime is to learn something useful about yourself from the lessons your unique life affords you.

Occasionally, you get plenty of do-overs.
More often than not, you get one chance to get it right.
Only one chance with absolutely no more do-overs.

The choice is to be a good person of good “character.”
Or rationalize why it is OK for you to be whatever bad character works for you which suits your transitory needs.

Like my martial arts grandmaster once said, “You can either have a black belt or you can be a black belt.”
The converse extrapolation is “you can either have a character or you can live with character.”

You get to choose which leg or legs of the stool you will stand on.

The leg when all is well.
The leg when none is well.
The leg when only you are looking?

Which three legs of character will you choose?
Your “character” will ultimately depend upon what you do.
Fortunately, no one can make the choice for you, but you!

Consequently, there is always hope, but you will, eventually, have to choose your path again and again.
One with “character”; one without “character.”
The paths are mutually exclusive.

Still, not such a bad deal, after you consider all of the logical and natural outcomes.

The choice is immediately clear and unequivocal because of the three legged stool of character!

And with the three legged stool of character, you now have something of foundational substance to characterologically build upon.

Author Note: Dr. Larry B. Gelman is a Clinical Psychologist and a Personal Mentor


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© 2014 Northern Illinois Counseling Associates, P.C. (NICA), Personal Mentoring Services (PMS)

Dr. Larry B. Gelman, Dr. Glenn B. Gelman, All Rights Reserved.

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Author Note: Dr. Larry B. Gelman is a Clinical Psychologist and a Personal Mentor


PMS Blog Comments Policy | PMS Copyright | PMS Disclaimer | PMS Citation Information

www.personalmentoringservices.com

© 2014 Northern Illinois Counseling Associates, P.C. (NICA), Personal Mentoring Services (PMS)

Dr. Larry B. Gelman, Dr. Glenn B. Gelman, All Rights Reserved.


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